Send me an e-mail, at firstname.lastname@example.org with your responses, including your preference for a gift. Also leave a comment here that you have sent a reply. I will tally the responses, and a gift will be sent to the top three responders, and a random drawing will provide a prize for a fourth participant. If you are a winner, I will contact you for your mailing address.
Prizes are: The Amazing Flying Monkey, A Digital Thermometer, A Garden Thermometer, and A Refrigerator Wine Rack (2 bottles). Only one entry so far.
Rules: One point per pun, and highest total is the winner(s). Half points will be awarded if you got the gist and were close. You must complete without any internet searches, books, lifelines, or any other outside assistance (you are on the honor system :o). Responses are due by 1200 noon on December 31. Cheaters will not go un-PUN-ished. Bucko is the final arbitrator. Winners will be posted on New Years Day, along with the response to the Puns. Give it a try, you might even have fun.
Good Luck :o)
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but _____ _____ _____ _____ .
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but _____ _____ _____ ."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was _____ _____ .
4. A _____ man walked into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm, and says: "A beer please, and _____ _____ _____ _____ ."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "_____ _____
_____ ______ _____ _____?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"Well, _____ _____ _____ ."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field.
Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly.
"It's true; _____ _____ l!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ either.
10. _____ _____ : The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some _____ trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know, _____ _____ _____ _____ !"
13. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, "_____ !"
14. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled _____ _____ .
15. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A _____ .
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ .
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office, and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked.
"Because," he said. "I can't stand _____ -_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ .."
18. A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt, and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! _____ _____ _____ _____ , _____ _____ _____ ."
19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a _____ -_____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ .
20. A dwarf, who was a mystic, escaped from jail. The call went out that there was a _____ _____ _____ _____ .
21. And finally, there was the person who sent 20 different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least 10 of the puns would make them laugh. No _____ _____ _____ did.