The Meeting Zone

Nothing challenges my sanity faster than a long, unproductive meeting. 

A productive meeting can be tremendously valuable, a big time-saver, and even exhilarating.  Here are some strategies to try to make a productive meeting happen:

Start on time, and end on time.

Spend a little time in chit-chat. People need to build friendships, they need a chance to show their personalities, they need to establish rapport. 

Everyone needs to contribute, find a way to draw people out. 

Have an agenda and stick to it. 

Never go to a meeting if you don’t know why you’re supposed to be there! 

Regular meetings should be kept as short as possible and very structured. 

For longer meetings, schedule breaks when people can check their email and phones.  Establish ground rules for actual meeting time - pagers on stun, no checking email, phones silent.

Take action items for meeting follow-up.  These need to be summarized with owners and due dates prior to adjournment.

Using these tips can prevent you from having a Haunted Meeting :o) 

[One of my favorite Bob and Tom skits, and a recurring entry in my little world]

Cool Beans :o)

The conventional advice for mastering your temper is to “Count to 10” before reacting. I know I try and use this technique, but sometimes my ire is up before I can think to count.  So here are a few questions to to ask when you find your irritation quotient exceeded before you have the chance to count:

1. Am I at fault?

2. Will this solve anything?

3. Am I improving the situation?

4. Can I make a joke of this?


Source

Happy New Year - Tips :o)

So here we are, it is the morning after, do you remember what you were so resolute about last night just as the clock struck midnight?  It is rumored that more than 40% of us make New Year's resolutions.  If you remember, and if your are part of that 40%, then here are some tips to keeping those resolutions.  (Source)

Be specific. 

Write it down.

Review your resolution constantly. 

Hold yourself accountable. Tell other people about your resolution.

Think small. Change does not need to be radical unless you want it to be.
Consider making only pleasant resolutions. 
Keep your resolution every day. 
Set a deadline.
Don’t give up if something interferes with your deadline.


Hope You All Have a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Dealing With a Lousy Day :o)

After a four day weekend, where hopefully we spent some time thinking about what we are thankful for, we get the opportunity to head back to the daily grind.  Inevitably, we will have some bad days.  We've all had terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days. Lousy days take many forms.  Here are some strategies for coping with a lousy day:



1. Resist the urge to “treat” yourself. Often, the things we choose as “treats” aren’t good for us. The pleasure lasts a minute, but then feelings of guilt, loss of control, and other negative consequences just deepen the lousiness of the day.


2. Do something nice for someone else. “Do good, feel good”  


3. Distract yourself. You will better able to cope with the situation after having had a bit of relief. Read, TV, movie, something to get your mind otherwise engaged.


4. Seek inner peace through outer order. The sense of tangible progress, control, and orderliness can be a comfort.


5. Tell yourself, “Well, at least I…” Get some things accomplished.


6. Exercise is an extremely effective mood booster – but be careful of exercise that allows you to ruminate.


7. Stay in contact. Studies show that contact with other people boosts mood.


8. Things really will look brighter in the morning. Go to bed early and start the next day anew.


9. Keep perspective. Ask yourself: “Will this matter in a month? In a year?”



What other strategies have you used to deal with a lousy day?

Tigger vs. Eeyore - Is there a winner?

If you’re a Tigger, you say things like… “Happiness is a choice.”, “Look on the bright side.”, “Smile!”, “Fake it ‘till you feel it.”


If you’re an Eeyore, you say things like… “No one can be cheerful all the time. It’s fake.”, “Thinking the glass is always half-full isn’t realistic. It’s self-deception.”, “If someone asks me, ‘How are you?’ I’m going to tell the truth, even if people don’t want an honest answer.”, “Authenticity is important to me. I hate phonies.”


Tiggers: remember, you can’t make someone happy. Let your happiness naturally rub off on the Eeyores, but don’t exhaust yourself trying to jolly them along. Telling Eeyores “Cheer up!” or refusing to acknowledge anything negative won’t make them cheerier. Your effort will just drain you, and it will irritate the Eeyores – in fact, they’ll probably hold more stubbornly to their worldview, and may become even more intensely negative to counter-balance your positivity.


Eeyores: remember, you believe you’re being “realistic” and “honest,” but Tiggers may find you gloomy and critical, they dread being sucked into your negativity. Remember, too, that while you believe that some Tiggers are “fake,” their extreme cheerfulness may be in reaction to you, as a counter-balance against your attitudes; or the extreme cheerfulness may be in reaction to some major happiness challenge elsewhere in their lives. Cut them a little slack.


Research and experience show that the “fake it ‘till you feel it” strategy really does work. People who act happier, friendlier, and more energetic will help themselves feel happier, friendlier, and more energetic (the opposite is also true). Tiggers often act Tiggerish because they’re trying to keep that Tigger flame alive.


Tiggers, Eeyores, let your actions and attitude speak for themselves. Do what’s right for you, and don’t worry about explicitly persuading other people to change their views. Don’t flatly deny someone’s viewpoint – “Things aren’t that bad!” “You have to face facts!” – but briefly acknowledge their perspective. Be yourself. 

I would definitely say that I am a Tigger, and the Eeyore view definitely results in a short fuse for me.  However, having read about this, I have a new appreciation for not trying to convert or cheer someone else up.   


Let your actions speak louder than words.   So no thanks, my glass is already half full :o)


Source

Boredom is not an Issue :o)

The more you focus on your boredom, the more you amplify that feeling.

Here are some tips to re-frame the moment; even if you can’t escape a situation, by re-framing your emotions.

-- Take the perspective of a journalist or scientist. Really study what’s around you. What are people wearing, what do the interiors of buildings look like, what noises do you hear? If you bring your analytical powers to bear, you can make almost anything interesting.  I think this is the technique I use the most, go figure :o)

-- Find an area of refuge.  Have a mental escape route planned. Think about something positive or uplifting.

-- Consider: "Am I the boring one?" It takes two to have a conversation, so if you find it bored, you are contributing.  Find a way to turn it around and be positive.

What strategies do you use to combat boredom?

Procrastination Avoidance

We all have to make ourselves do things that we just don’t want to do. Here are some tricks to power through the procrastination.

1. Do it first thing in the morning. If you’re dreading doing something, you’re going to be able to think of more creative excuses as the day goes along. Without delay is the easiest way.

2. If you find yourself putting off a task that you try to do several times a week, try doing it EVERY day, instead. 

3. Have someone keep you company. Studies show that we enjoy practically every activity more when we’re with other people. Having a friend along can be a distraction, a source of reassurance, or just moral support.

4. Make preparations, assemble the proper tools. Dividing a tough task into preparation and execution makes it easier to tackle.

5. Commit. We’ve all heard the advice to write down your goals. This really works, so force yourself to do it. Usually this advice relates to long-term goals, but it works with short-term goals, too. On the top of a piece of paper, write, “By the end of today, I will have _____.” 

6. First things first. That is, make sure you don't use little tasks to push offbig tasks. I find myself answering email instead of writing, or reading Twitter instead of logging in my research notes. These smaller tasks are important and worthwhile, but I shouldn't use them to delay more taxing work.

7. Reflect on the great feeling you'll get when you've finished. Studies show that hitting a goal releases chemicals in the brain that give you pleasure. 

What strategies do you use to stop procrastinating?

Source

Personal Energy Tips :o)

It’s hard to feel happy when you’re dragging around. Simple tasks seem overwhelming, people seem annoying, and nothing seems fun. If you’re desperate for an immediate boost, try these tips:

1. Go outside into the sunlight

2. Go for a brisk walk

3. Act with energy

4. Listen to your favorite upbeat song

5. Talk to an energetic friend

6. Tackle an item on your to-do list.

7. Clean up

8. Eat -- if you're hungry

Do you have any great short-term energy-boosting strategies?

Source

Heuristically Speaking :o)

Heuristics are “rules of thumb,” the quick, common-sense principles people apply to solve a problem or make a decision. They aren’t “rules for living” that you consciously try to apply; rather, they're deeply embedded, often unconscious, rules that you use to make decisions, answer a question, or decide a course of action.  A heuristic is a general way of solving a problem.

Conservativism is sometimes recommended when adjusting our beliefs or methods in light of new information. A well established belief should be overthrown only when one has solid evidence against it. An otherwise reliable method should be changed only when it meets significant failure.  Many people are adverse to taking risks.  Below are some common rules of thumb, could you live with the results?

• For marketing purposes, elderly consumers think they are 15 years younger than they actually are.
• When you're playing blackjack, assume that any unseen card is an 8.
• If your back hurts more when you climb stairs, walk up a hill, or get out of a chair, you need to do extension exercises.
• If you don't want a cat to jump into your lap, don't make eye contact with it.
• When ants travel in a straight line, expect rain. When they scatter, expect fair weather.
• To get the most out of your car, treat it like a favorite cat or dog. [Not sure how a belly rub would have prevented my truck from breaking down last weekend]
• When the bird and the bird book disagree, believe the bird. [If you can, get a picture, this will give you a chance to truly identify the bird]
• If your feet are cold, put on your hat.
• Any gadget that does many things will do none of them as well as a single-purpose device.
• If you are talking with an American whose legs are crossed and he wiggles his foot at what you say, he either disagrees with what you are saying, or he wants to add to it, or he wants to talk about something else.
• Recovering an unused physical skill takes one month for each year of layoff.
• People do not change as they get older. They just become more of what they are already.
• If you're worried that you don't have any interests, browse in the nonfiction section of a library for five minutes. By then a book will catch your eye.

Can you think of some additional examples?  Here are the ones that come to mind for me immediately (one good and one absolutely not so good :o):

• An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
• A womans place is in the kitchen.

 

Source

Philosophical Phun - Koans

A “koan” is a question, story, or statement that can’t be understood logically. Zen Buddhist monks meditate on koans as a way to abandon dependence on reason in their pursuit of enlightenment.

A koan can’t be grasped by logic, or explained in words.

The most famous koan is probably: “Two hands clap and there is a sound. What is the sound of one hand?”

"...in the beginning a monk first thinks a kôan is an inert object upon which to focus attention; after a long period of consecutive repetition, one realizes that the kôan is also a dynamic activity, the very activity of seeking an answer to the kôan. The kôan is both the object being sought and the relentless seeking itself. In a kôan, the self sees the self not directly but under the guise of the kôan...When one realizes ("makes real") this identity, then two hands have become one. The practitioner becomes the kôan that he or she is trying to understand. That is the sound of one hand." — G. Victor Sogen Hori, Translating the Zen Phrase Book

I find the concept of Koans refreshing and very thought provoking.  Here is my first effort: "Can a passing thought be profound?"
Source

e-Mail Effing Tips :o)

I know that I struggle with e-mails, and everything that goes with it.  Sure, it is a great way to stay informed, to be alerted when people comment or update on [fill in the application here], or to know when you have a new bill or payment or deposit or.....  But in this new information age, it is important to practice some common courtesy when e-mailing, and to do some e-mail management.  See some e-mail efficiency tips below:




1. Keep it brief. Easier for the writer, easier for the reader.

2. Stay focused. Each e-Mail should be on a single subject, with an appropriate subject line.

3. Keep a sense of proportion! Don’t flag an email as “urgent” unless it really is urgent!

4. Unsubscribe. Sure, it may take only a second to delete it when it arrives, but seeing emails flooding into your in-box is so unpleasant; take a few extra seconds to stop those emails at the source.

5. Manage your notifications. When you set up a Twitter account, a Facebook account, a Goodreads profile, a YouTube channel, and the like, pay very careful attention to the notifications. Do you really want to be notified when X, Y, or Z happens? And if you realize later you’re getting notifications you don’t want, take a minute to change your settings.

Source: Happiness-Project

Taking Inventory

Following information was found at The Happiness Project.

 

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?

 

Happiness takes effort. Amidst our busy lives that could easily become crammed with concerns and obligations, you must make an effort to carve out occasions - and conditions - for happiness to transpire. At 18, I thought that happiness was completely organic. Now I recognize that intention plays a great role in happiness.

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?

 

Rushing. I've had a problem lately with wanting to rush through process. I see a point in the future that I want to race to and I stop appreciating the present. I get all worked up and then I stop and realize, "what the heck am I doing racing through part of my life?" The processes we endure are, in fact, life. Rushing life makes no sense.

 

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?

 

Yes. I try to take inventory every now and then - especially when I feel encumbered by the unknowns. There are certain things in my life that bring me to a happy state. Family is one of them. Certain projects and memories also remind me how lucky I am. When I feel anxious I try to take the broader perspective and reconnect with the "constants" in my life that are, in essence, the roots of my happiness.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful?

 

There are a few mantras that I have said to myself over the years.

• People who change the world are people who master what they love.
• Don't be ambitious to be successful, be ambitious to be happy.
• The point of life is to have fun and deserve it.

As you can see, I'm always trying to reconcile responsibility with joy. I enjoy doing so.

  

I say take time each and every day to find or do something that makes you happy. It really is not as hard as it seems, but it does take effort :o)

The Happiness Project :o)

Different happiness strategies work for different people. The following strategies stood out for Gretchen Rubin and "The Happiness Project". I have added my thoughts to the bolded strategies.


Seek novelty and challenge even if you value consistency and comfort. Trying new things is one of the most effective paths to happiness.

Try doing whatever you enjoyed doing at age 10. I would substitute and think of a time when you remember being happy, and try doing those same things again. Enthusiasm is the key.

Read memoirs of death and suffering. I was not expecting this one. The premise is that this helps put our own problems into perspective. I struggle with this one a bit because it requires you to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else's struggles.

Declutter your home. Having a few chores that you want to accomplish each day can bring you satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment. I know that I try and do this on my non-work days. It is way to easy to spend lots of time behind the keyboard.

Be appreciative of people's good traits rather than critical of their bad ones. I think that this is key to a good relationship. It is always easy to find things to be critical of, but focusing on the positive traits, the things that attracted us to our mates or friends, leaves us with a warmness inside that is hard to duplicate.

Enjoy today even if there's still work to do. Take time to be happy each and every day. Do not hang your happiness shingle on some future milestone that is going to take years to achieve.

http://www.happiness-project.com/